Patents are great things. Anyone with a brilliant idea should be entitled to reap the rewards of that idea, and the United States patent system protects the entrepreneur's right to fend off copycat attacks on his inventions. However, sometimes some goofy applications actually win patents. Here's ten inventions you won't believe are protected by real US patents:
1. Animal toy
"An apparatus for use as a toy by an animal, for example a dog, to either fetch carry or chew includes a main section with at least one protrusion extending therefrom that resembles a branch in appearance. The toy is formed of any of a number of materials including rubber, plastic, or wood including wood composites and is solid. It is either rigid or flexible."
2. Method of Swinging on a Swing
"A method of swing on a swing is disclosed, in which a user positioned on a standard swing suspended by two chains from a substantially horizontal tree branch induces side to side motion by pulling alternately on one chain and then the other."
3. Electrogalvanic-powered diaper wetness sensor
"An electrical wetness sensor powered by the electrogalvanic action of an anode, a cathode and an electrolyte. In the preferred embodiment the electrolyte is urine and the device is used to warn of incontinence."
4. Burp gas filtering and deodorizing device
"The burp filtering device has the body of a writing pen, with an intake port at the upper end of the body, a plurality of exhaust ports adjacent the writing tip, and a filter disposed within the body. The filter may be made of activated charcoal or other media for filtering eructation odors. In use, the user holds the upper end of the pen body to his lips, releases the suppressed burp, and the filtered gas is exhausted through the ports at the writing tip."
5. User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
"An amusement apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control. The apparatus includes a platform foldable at a mid-section, having first post and second upstanding posts detachably mounted thereon. The first post is provided with a crank positioned at a height thereon which requires the user to bend forward toward the first post while grasping the crank with both hands, to prominently present his buttocks toward the second post. The second post is provided with a plurality of rotating arms detachably mounted thereon, with a central axis of the rotating arms positioned at a height generally level with the user's buttocks."
6. Frameless glasses attaching to body piercings.
"A frameless glassware assembly attaching to body piercing studs. Design consisting of an elastomeric C-clip fixedly attached to one distal end of a metal arm, which is attached to a frameless glass lens assembly. Design allows for frameless eyeglass attachment to the eyebrow studs or to the nose studs of a user via the elastomeric C-clip. One embodiment allows the frameless glassware to attach to eyebrow studs and the second allows the frameless glassware to attach to a nose stud. Both designs are frameless and avoid side wire earpieces common to hold glassware to the face of a user."
7. Hijacker injector
"Passenger disabling apparatus mounted in and under an airplane seat and remotely actuated by a pilot or a crew member for disabling an airplane hijacker. The disabling apparatus comprises a solenoid actuated seat belt buckle lock in combination with an inflatable seat back and hypodermic injection apparatus arranged for driving the needle of a hypodermic syringe through the seat cushion into the passenger to instantly sedate or kill the passenger."
8. Kissing shield
"A kissing shield comprised of a thin, flexible membrane and a frame or holder. The membrane is closed on three sides, a fourth side remaining open so that the membrane can be stretched over the frame or holder.... The user then positions the kissing shield between his lips and the lips or cheek of the individual he plans to kiss and kisses the intended recipient of his affection."
9. Automated bathing facility
"An automated bathing system or facility for use in bathing large numbers of patients or persons in standing position by which the patients are suspended by means of a harness from an overhead rail and are moved along a conveyor belt floor past a wetting station, a soaping station, a rinsing station and finally into a drying station.... may be moved place to place to provide bathing facilities to persons in disaster areas or to cope with mass bathing requirements after an atomic bomb explosion."
10. Crispy cereal serving piece and method
"A serving piece for serving cereal and preventing its becoming soggy in milk includes a lower bowl configured to be supported in a food containing orientation upon a surface. An elongated sloped chute is mounted to and communicates at one end with the lower bowl and extends upwardly and outwardly therefrom and an upper bowl is mounted to and communicates with the other end of the sloped chute. In use, crispy cereal from the upper bowl is urged in successive measured portions down the chute and into milk contained in the lower bowl from where each portion of cereal can be consumed prior to its becoming soggy."
